real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
