I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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