I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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