Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
