who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
