Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
