As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
