yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
