weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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