And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
