He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
