Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
