Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
