I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
