I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
