i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
