Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Your penis caused this!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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