Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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