At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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