LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
When did angry sex become our thing?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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