My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
