The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
