My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
you will always have a special place in my vag
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
