dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Randomize
