just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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