so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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