I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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