i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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