you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
