would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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