I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
