I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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