Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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