using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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