He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
