if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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