Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
