I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
