she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
