I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
