its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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