That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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