It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
