please come you make the beer taste better
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
