Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
