i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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