I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
