Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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