My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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