Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
