Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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