He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
