ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
