It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
dude. I can hear the air.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
