he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
