Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
