Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
